Dealing With Disappointment, Part 5

Life 101: Disappointment In Life Is Guaranteed!

Webster defines disappointment as "when expectations fail to be met, producing anger, frustration, sadness, and discouragement."

This week we're addressing common disappointments and sharing ideas to consider:

5. YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED WITH YOURSELF.
This one is tough - I know first-hand! Disappointment with yourself is potentially the most debilitating kind of disappointment! Why? because it can throw you into a downward spiral that's hard to recover from. Peter had a sworn, undying love and loyalty to Jesus. In Matthew 26:33-75 he said "Lord, everybody else may abandon you, but not me! I'm yours till death!" And he meant every word of it. But under the pressures surrounding Jesus' crucifixion he gave in and denied knowing Jesus, not once but three times. Peter was heart-broken by his failure and went outside and wept bitterly (Luke 22:62).

Peter failed to meet his own expectations and crumbled. But Jesus wasn't shocked. He was well aware of Peter's flaws when He called him into ministry. He also knew that His blustering, outspoken disciple had a tender and sincere heart. When Peter failed, Jesus extended grace to him rather than remove him from office. When Christ gave post-resurrection orders to "tell His disciples and Peter" (Mark 16:7) to meet Him in Galilee, He reaffirmed His choice of the failed disciple. The rest of Peter's story is New Testament history!

When (not if) you confront failure, here are a few things to keep in mind:

1. Don't add insult to injury by letting disappointment turn to dispair.
2. Humble yourself, confess, and repent (turn away) from your failure.
3. Receive God's grace and forgiveness by faith, not feelings.
4. Get whatever help you need to get back on track sooner, not later.

DO NOT let yourself, other people, or Satan convince you that you're case is beyond God's grace!

Dealing With Disappointment, Part 4

Life 101: Disappointment In Life Is Guaranteed!

Webster defines disappointment as "when expectations fail to be met, producing anger, frustration, sadness, and discouragement."

This week we're addressing common disappointments and sharing ideas to consider:

4. YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED WITH THOSE YOU'VE INVESTED IN.
Let's again check in with Moses, the founding pastor of the First Church of the Critical & Ungrateful... a congregation of former slaves delivered, blessed, and en route to the Promised Land... but without a shred of loyalty, gratitude, or appreciation for the man who put everything on the line to make it possible. Fresh out of Egypt, the people of Israel turned on Moses, accusing and blaming him (see Exodus 14). Do you think Moses was disappointed and hurt?

However, each time Moses wanted to quit, he discussed it with God, prayed for his complaining congregation, received fresh orders from headquarters, and returned to work. It's what God-called men and women do when they're disappointed and feel like giving up... they remain faithful!

Dealing With Disappointment, Part 3

Life 101: Disappointment In Life Is Guaranteed!

Webster defines disappointment as "when expectations fail to be met, producing anger, frustration, sadness, and discouragement."

This week we're addressing common disappointments and sharing ideas to consider:

3. YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED WITH THOSE YOU WORK WITH.
To succeed in life, you need other people; you can't make it without them. When those people fail you it's painful. Imagine Moses' diappointment. He leaves his brother Aaron in charge while he attends his summit conference with God to receive the 10 Commandments. When he returns, he finds Israel in anarchy, idolatry and rebellion against God. Where's Aaron? Leading the rebellion! When Moses needed him most, Aaron failed miserably.

But watch Moses - true leadership shines in disappointment! Moses confronts and corrects Aaron. He takes the mess to God for resolution and prays for forgiveness for Israel. God listens and reminds Moses of his assignment: "[It's disappointing Moses, but] go lead the people... my angel will go before you..." Disappointment will challenge you to be a better leader and give you an opportunity to grow in grace toward others. When the people you depend on fail you, keep leading! Continue doing what God assigned you to do!

Dealing With Disappointment, Part 2

Life 101: Disappointment In Life Is Guaranteed!

Webster defines disappointment as "when expectations fail to be met, producing anger, frustration, sadness, and discouragement."

This week we will address common disappointments and share ideas to consider:

2. YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED WITH THOSE YOU LIVE WITH.
If anyone wouldn't let you down, it would be your family? Right? Wrong! Ask young Joseph./ When GOd promised him a big promotion he thought his brothers would celebrate. Instead they responded with jealousy, resentment and hostility. They sold baby brother into slavery. Far from friends and home he languised in prison for a crime he didn't commit. What an invitation to bitterness!

I'm sure Joseph was tempted to reherse the wrongs done to him. I'm sure he was tempted to plot some form of revenge. Instead, he allowed God to vindicate him, using his circumstances to position, prepare, and promote him to be Egypt's Prime Minister. He refusted to become bitter and chose to forgive those who mistreated him. Whe he later had opportunity to exercise vengence, he showed mercy instead. That's how you deal with disappointment!

Dealing With Disappointment, Part 1

Life 101: Disappointment In Life Is Guaranteed!

Webster defines disappointment as "when expectations fail to be met, producing anger, frustration, sadness, and discouragement."

This week I'll address common disappointments and share some ideas to consider:

1. YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED WITH THOSE YOU LOOK UP TO.
(1 Samuel 1-4) Samuel's mother entrusted her son to Eli the Priest, confident he would mentor and prepare him for God's service. But Eli had a serious character flaw. He was a weak, passive, and permissive parent who stood by while his son's abused their priestly privilege, bringing shame and disrepute to God's work. Eli had absolutely NO backbone!

Who would have blamed Samuel for taking a nose dive when the man he looked up to failed? But he didn't! He dealt with his disappointment and kept his eyes on God. The Bible says Samuel "grew and the Lord was with him." He became one of Israel's greatest prophets! A friendly reminder: when you're disappointed by people, keep your focus on God!

Use What God Gave You

"...If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ..." - 1 Peter 4:11 (NKJV)

When God gives you an assignment, He gives you all you need to fulfill it. If fact, by studying your core competencies you can actually discover an important part of God's will for your life. Winston Churchill said, "To each there comes in his or her lifetime a special moment when they are tapped on the shoulder and offered a chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted for their talent".

You can't always be what you want to be, but you can be everything God wants you to be. That's because He assigns and directs us "each according to [one's] own ability" (Matthew 25:15). What do you love doing and do consistently well? Is music your forte? Crunching numbers? Working with children? Paul says "The Spirit has given each of us a special way of serving" (1 Corinthians 12:7). That means some of the things other people find broing, will actually energize and enrich you.

The Bible says there is a place for each of us in His grand purpose in this world. Knowing this dispels the misconception that you're not valuable beause you don't have the same talents/abilities you admire in others. It also defines your responsibility by doing away with the myth that you're supposed to do everything. Your goal should be to stay within the boundaries of God's plan for you. No talent is small or insignificant. Instead of apologizing for the skills you don't have, discover the gifts/abiliies God has given you and put them to work for His purposes. You'll discover that nothing is more fulfilling!

Getting Off "Center Stage"

"Let each one of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others" - Philippians 2:4

An accurate paraphrase of this verse is "Get off center stage!" This is easier said than done. Most of us tend to be pre-occupied with one person - "Me". When you ask someone "How's it going?", they think you really want to know. They begin to share a recent success. For many people, this is a signal to say, "You think that's good, let me tell you what happened to me..." At this point your friend is wishing they had kept their mouth shut.

Some of us need to just get over ourselves! All of us need to learn to vacate center stage more often. We can all use a little help learning to focus on others. We should all practice saying, "Enough about me, tell me about you... your job... your family... your health, etc." Stifle the urge to interrupt and just listen. Listen with your ears, your eyes, and your heart. Try to understand the feelings behind their words.

Frankly, this can be a big challenge for me. I tend to get very focused on what I'm doing, where I'm going and how I'm going to get there. But one of the true characteristics of a Christ-follower is to celebrate with the success of others, or share their struggles as if they were your own. I'm working at this!

Take Every Thought Captive

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." - 2 Corinthians 10:5

Nineteen-year-old Liu Shih-Kun was an esteemed concert pianist in China until the Cultural Revolution banned all things of Western Influence. Refusing to renounce his beloved music, Liu was deemed an enemy to the people. Beaten and imprisoned, he languished in a tiny cell with no books, no paper, and even worse - no piano. After his release seven years later, he played with the Philadelphia Orchestra in Beijing... flawlessly. The fact that he survived is remarkable; that his hands continued to move as if they'd never stopped playing is amazing.

What was his secret? Stripped of everything musical for seven and a half years, Liu disciplined himself to shut out negative thoughts and practice hour after hour on an imaginary piano.

Counselors tell us we don't realize the extent to which our own thinking contributes to our mental anguish. The earlier we evaluate our "self-talk" the easier it is to regroup and get back on track. While the concept is simple, it's not easy to implement. Once you start paying attention you'll probably notice more negative "self-talk" than you realized.

Police shout "freeze!" when cornering a suspect. We can "freeze" destructive self-talk by capturing every thought and making it obedient to Christ. Paul says "This is not a wrestling match against a human opponent. We are wrestling with... spiritual forces" (Eph 6:12). Your thoughts have power. To win over them, you must submit to Christ and control what you allow your mind to dwell on. I'm determined to inject FAITH and HOPE into my self-talk today!

The Right Side Of The Boat

"He (Jesus) said, 'Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some (fish).' When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish." - John 21:6 (NIV)

After hearing Jesus promise to rise from the dead, and actually seeing Him alive, the disciples went back to what they were doing before they met him: fishing. Certianly God will used our past experiences to teach us, but He always leads us forward - never back. When fear and uncertianty make us want to go back to the security of what we know, we end up like the disciples: "They went out and... got into the boat, and that night they caught nothing." (John 21:3 NIV)

But there's good news: God hasn't changed His mind about His purpose for your life. Notice how Jesus addressed the disciples: "Children, have you any food?" (vs. 5) Even though you may find yourself taking some steps backwards, you're still His child! Next he tells them "Throw your net on the right side of the boat... When they did they were unable to haul the net in because the large number of fish. Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, 'It is the Lord!'" (vs 7) That morning Jesus ate breakfast with them and removed their doubts and sent them out to change the world.

What the lesson? When we work outside of God's will, it's like fishing on the wrong side of the boat; we wear ourselves out and in the end have nothing to show for our efforts. Submit your life again to Christ today. Renew your fellowship with Him and allow Him to direct your steps! Don't shrink back in fear - move FORWARD in faith!

A View From The Mountain

"Jesus took Peter, James and John... up a high mountain." - Matthew 17:1 (NIV)

This "mountaintop" experience illustrates God's unique purpose in each of our lives. Notice three things...

1. Not everyone gets to go up the mountain.
Jesus picked the three who went. He didn't take everyone so nobody would feel slighted. And He didn't explain or apologize to the other disciples who stayed at ground level. God loves us all equally but He doesn't give us all the same assignment or experiences with Him. God makes the call, not us. So trust Him - He knows what He is doing.

2. Those who go up the mountian aren't necessarily wiser or more spiritual.
On the mountain, Peter once again sticks his foot in his mouth. He was sincere but he was sincerely wrong. Peter's error should remind us to resist the temptation to speak instead of waiting to hear what God has to say. It also reminds us that those who have unique assignments from God are not perfect.

3. God's plan is to feature Jesus, not you.
This is a lesson we have to keep learning over and over again. When the heavenly Father spoke to the disciples on the mountain, he said "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!... When they looked up, they saw no one expect Jesus." (Matt. 17:5-8 NIV) The greatest challenge of life is getting to the place where your focus is on "no one except Jesus". The only plan that will work out is the one He gives you. And the power you need to fulfill that plan comes from Him alone!

With Persecution Comes Growth

"As for Saul, he made havoc of the church, entering every house, and dragging off men and women, committing them to prison. Therefore those who were scattered went everywhere preaching the word." - Acts 8:3-4 (NKJV)

There seems to be a troubling trend beginning in America. Persecution. It's important to remember how the New Testament church grew - through persecution. The same is true in one's personal relationship with God - it's the bad times that cause us to grow. Sometimes we recieve direction through persecution. Sometimes those who attack us are agents of the Lord, without knowing it. God uses them to get us where we need to be, then, like Joseph, we look back years later and say, "You meant it for evil but God meant it for good" (See Genesis 50:20). We cry because someone slammed a door in our face, but in retrospect we are able to say, "It was the best thing that could have happened to me."

If God is allowing you to experience persecution, it will ultimately be for His good, the good of others, or for your good. Your are the instrument through which He is going to bring it about. Understanding this is to gain a more mature perspective on life. Whether the battle is over your family, your finances, your health, your business, or your ministry, expect three things:

1. The closer you get to victory, the more intense the battle.
2. What matters is not your comfort, but what you're called to do.
3. Your victory has been ordained by God, so keep fighting!

Get Up, Get Over It, & Move On

I read Isaiah 54:4 in my quite time today - "Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; neither be disgraced... you will forget the shame of your youth."

As I reflected on this verse I was impacted by a few thoughts... you can't go back and change mistakes you've made in the past. You're not the same person and you will never be the same person again. You cannot re-live your previous marriage, your early childhood, or change your past mistakes. But there are three scriptural steps for getting up, getting over it and moving on:

1. Forgive what OTHERS have done to you (Ephesians 4:32)
2. Forgive YOURSELF for what you've done (Philippians 3:13)
3. Believe GOD has truly forgiven you and act on it (Isaiah 43:25)

Sometimes we hold on to the past because we think there is something there we think we still need. We cling to certian things because we fear we can never replace them. The fact is, God has SO MUCH MORE in store for you. If you've entrusted your future to God, you haven't seen your best days yet. There's more ahead of you than behind you, regardless of your age.

So in God's strength GET UP, GET OVER IT, and MOVE ON!

"Fear Not..." Pt. 2

In Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, he describes a simple, two-part antidote for worry.

First, choose to trust God with every area of our lives. Jesus said, “Your heavenly Father already knows perfectly well what you need and he will it provide it if you give him first place in your life and live as he wants you to.”

Second, He encouraged us to decide to live just one day at a time. “Don’t worry about tomorrow. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

No worries!

"Fear Not..."

Without a doubt, these are difficult times. Corporations are cutting jobs, 401ks are loosing value and mortgage rates are adjusting. In these challenging times it's important to remember one of the most often repeated commands in the Bible: "Fear not!"

The word "worry" comes from an old English word meaning “to choke or strangle”. Of course, that’s exactly what worry does to your productivity and happiness. It’s a self-defeating waste of time.

In his famous Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gave four reasons for not worrying and the secrets of overcoming it.(Matthew 6:25-34)

First, WORRY IS UNREASONABLE. To worry about something you CAN’T change is useless. To worry about something you CAN change is stupid! And every time you review a worry in your mind it just gets bigger. Worry amplifies problems out of proportion. "Don't worry about the clothes you need. Life is more than what you wear.”

Second, WORRY IS UNNATURAL. You weren’t born a worrier. It is a learned response to life. In fact, you have to practice to get good at it. Fortunately worry can be unlearned. The only species in God’s creation that worries is human beings. We don’t think God will take care of us. “Bird don’t worry but God takes care of them. Don’t you realize you’re more valuable to God than mere birds?”

Third, WORRY IS UNHELPFUL. It doesn’t make things better.It can’t change the past. It can’t control the future. It only makes you miserable today. Worrying about a problem never solves the problem. “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”

Finally, WORRY IS UNNECESSARY. God has promised to take care of you if you’ll trust him with the details of your life. As a child, if you asked your father for lunch money you never worried about where it would come from. That was his problem. Let God be God in your life! “God will take care of you, just have faith.”

In my next post we'll discuss how to break free from worry!

George Washington Hated Party Politics

George Washington hated the idea of political parties so much, here's what he said about them in his 1796 farewell speech:

"The alternate domination of one faction over another, sharpened by the spirit of revenge, natural to party dissension, which in different ages and countries has perpetrated the most horrid enormities, is itself a frightful despotism. But this leads at length to a more formal and permanent despotism. The disorders and miseries which result gradually incline the minds of men to seek security and repose in the absolute power of an individual; and sooner or later the chief of some prevailing faction, more able or more fortunate than his competitors, turns this disposition to the purposes of his own elevation, on the ruins of public liberty."

George had a habit for using big words, so allow me to translate into 2008 English: Political parties that put their own success over that of the country's will be the death of America. Maybe we should stop thinking in terms of left and right and start thinking in terms of right and wrong. We should demand the best leaders possible, and then demand the best out of them. Source

What do you think?

Battling With My Buddy

My son Brandon and I went to play laser tag today for the first time. We played two games – what a blast! Sorry for the blurry camera phone picture.

The first game was insane – 20 people were crammed into a small arena, most were under 10 years old. In the second game Brandon and I took on a father and his two teenage sons for a laser tag family feud. Team Melendez dominated with a 396 to 124 win! A few summary thoughts...

1. Nothing brings a father and son together like simulated warfare.
2. Laser tag is a fun - but thoroughly wash you hands afterward.
3. No matter how old, guys never grow out of playing with toy guns.
4. If I give up being a pastor, I will not become a laser tag employee.

Let The Blogging Begin

Greetings!

If you're reading this you're probably a friend or family member. It goes without saying that the purpose of this blog is to fulfill my narcissistic drive for self-promotion. Actually, I've stubbornly resisted blogging but multiple friends have encouraged (nagged) me to do so as a means of communication and personal expression. So, it begins.

Feel free to read my profile to the right to get to know a bit more about me. I hope you will find some of the content encouraging, informative and maybe a bit entertaining in the days ahead.

Thanks for looking!